1.2.13

Effectively, in about 6 more days, my school life in polytechnic will end. And on the 20th of February, it would be safe to say that another stage of my life would be over. 

Seems just like yesterday when three years ago I made that desperate last bid attempt to appeal into NYP, not knowing all the people I would meet, and all the things that I would do. 

It didn't strike me till today that, that's it. I won't be going to Ang Mo Kio Ave 8 (or 5, idk) every day to see my friends, sit in the lecture theatres/tutorial rooms, decide which canteen to eat at, take the bus home with a friend, etc. To be honest, I still don't think it has struck me fully. 

And here I am, three years later. Still without a fucking clue as to what I'll ever amount to in life. Still with the same shallow and childish aspirations I had three years earlier, i.e., to be famous for erm. Various vain things.

You can cram all the academia into a person but all the theories, principles and calculations will never point a light towards what  the fuck you're supposed to do. And I'm so, so, so, afraid that my whole life will just be a series of stumbles and trips and falls, never being able to fully walk properly without falling face down into a pile of shit.

So fucking clueless.

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