Here's a video that was posted on Facebook by a lecturer I respect a lot. Ironically enough, after watching this video I panicked about how none of the universities have contacted me, especially the one that I went to for my interview. The main line of thinking was, "I'm going to be so screwed without a university degree."
I don't think it is wrong to think that way, being in a society where a diploma is slowly losing its relevance and a degree is becoming the standard requirement to attain a job which can provide for a comfortable life. The main resource over here is people. If you can't equip yourself with the right tools (certificates) to become a valued resource, the general perception is that if you weren't good enough to get a degree, you aren't good enough to work for me.
However, as a friend pointed out to me, a lot of things that I seem to want now at this point in life do not require a degree. I think that I want to write for a women's magazine, or magazines like Nylon/Frankie etc. but to be honest with myself, I'm not sure if that's what I truly want?
I used to want to be a fashion designer from age 12-14, and thinking back now I can't remember why I lost the passion for it but judging from subsequent art classes I really don't have the flair for it. At 15, I wanted to be a vet but decided I couldn't deal with cutting up dogs/cats/household pets or cutting up any living thing in general. At 16 I decided that Mass Communications was THE course for me, never mind that I didn't really know what mass communications was about other than that I could still continue to write. Well, I didn't get into mass communications and instead I got into Applied Drama with Psychology, so I thought why not? Being a psychologist sounded cool/sexy. After a semester I dropped out because psychology wasn't a huge aspect of the course, but the drama aspect was the main thing. Well no shit 17 year old me, there's a reason why the first two words 'Applied Drama' come in front of the word 'Psychology'??? Anyway, I dropped out because I didn't get it. I didn't like what I was doing, and I didn't like that I didn't have a clue what was going on for several classes.
After I dropped out, I found myself being in Business Management half a year later. I didn't have a clue about business management either. I didn't even want to be in business management! Funnily enough at 17 I was actually adamant about going against the system and I wanted to stop going to school to be a nail technician. I wonder if my dad didn't press me to continue with school, would things be different? In any case, I am still thankful he pushed me to get a diploma.
Choosing the retail specialization of my course really opened me up to the world of retail. I used to think retail was just all about retail jobs but it's more than that. It's shown me that other than stupid shift jobs on the retail floor (oops sorry), there's also visual merchandising and fashion buying. And I LOVE these two aspects of the retail world. I thoroughly enjoyed all of my retail modules. Every other non-retail module was a pain in the ass to get through but I breezed through the retail modules. I just truly loved it. And choosing retail presented me with a chance to start up a small business selling clothes - an idea that I once shared with my drama classmates when they asked me what I would do when I quit the course. That was when I was 17, and now I'm 21. Although the business is going slowly, at least it happened. And I don't want to let it die, although it does look like it's going to flat line at any moment lol oops.
So that's another something I'd like to do in my life. Build up my little business into something that can actually provide for a living. HOWEVER, you who is reading this, whoever you are, if there is any one even reading, might probably be thinking OKAY SO YOU WANT TO BUILD UP A BUSINESS SO WHY THE HELL DID YOU WRITE 3 BLOCKS OF PARAGRAPHS ABOUT YOUR LIFE IF YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO DO WITH IT?!
Well, the point is, from the ages of 12-19, although the thought of being a writer did pop up occasionally, it was never a strong passion. I liked writing, but only because I knew I was good at it. Which is why I thought that if I could get into a course which was related to writing, life would be easier. When in actuality, I know nothing about writing for a legit publication, or writing articles, or what a journalist actually does. My whole life I've only written compositions for school (albeit some being very fervent essays on some of my viewpoints), and for myself through my blogs. So, to say that I want to go into writing/journalism seems a bit foolish. And yet when everyone asked me what course I wanted to apply for in university my automatic answer was media and communications. At 16 when I had to choose a course I said communications. At 21 when I have to choose a course I am still going with communications.
And now, being honest with myself again, I only chose communications because it is the only course that gives me a possibility of entering a local university which my parents can pay for and is the only thing I am somewhat interested in.
Two hours into writing all of this, I've come to the conclusion I needed to get to.
I was only worried and panicky about universities not accepting my application not because I wanted to learn about writing or literature or whatever. Yes it would be fun to see what everything is about, mostly to satisfy my curiosity, but other than that... I just don't have the passion for communications or literature. The sudden mentions about literature is because the interview I went for was for a spot in English Literature. I don't even know what I will study in English Literature but when I got the call to go in for an interview I was already filled with dreams of teaching English in several foreign countries. Seriously. I need to stop that shit.
Digression aside, I was only panicking because almost everyone I know is in a university, or have been accepted into a university. And what would that make me if I wasn't in a university by August 2013? What would my parents think? In a way, not being accepted into a university can be considered a failure on my part, and in the eyes of many others in this society. And at that moment, I simply feared the judgement I would get when I would tell people that I wasn't in a university.
The only thing that is really driving me to get a degree is simply so that I can get a job with a higher pay when I eventually enter the working world. And yet, in my entire life I have never wanted a desk job working for someone - although being a corporate bitch sounds badass (YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN ABOUT NEEDING TO STOP THIS SHIT OF THINKING JOBS ARE SEXY/COOL/GLAMOROUS?!). I mean, it literally pains me to imagine myself being corporate drone. And yet I want a degree just because it gives me an opportunity for a higher pay when I work for someone. And the only reason why I want a job with a higher pay which this piece of paper can give to me is because, well, having more money is never a bad thing.
So I guess everything is simply down to money. I am materialistic; I love buying clothes even when I have more than enough clothes, I love buying stupid cosmetics even though that whole industry is, to put it simply: evil, and I JUST LOVE HAVING NICE THINGS.
It really is a whole other debate on whether money = success = happiness but I think I've garbled on for way too long and I've got work tomorrow so I really need to sleep. Like two hours ago.
After all of this verbal diarrhea, I think I've reached a conclusion. Personally, I don't know if I truly want a degree or need one. I do think it would be nice to receive higher education, just for the sake of learning new things that I've never been exposed to. But the key word here is nice. Although I cannot guarantee that my business will be successful, it is something I don't need a degree for. And even if I do decide to go into writing, I believe that although a communications degree will increase my chances of getting a job in writing, it does not guarantee one. I don't know what my parents will think should I not get into a university, but I hope they won't be too upset. But to the rest of society, it's none of their business, right? Of course it would still be nice to be accepted into a local university, and let's be realistic, a degree is a nice Plan B too, just in case everything else doesn't work out.
Well, this was definitely cathartic.
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